Can I grow flowers or what?

This is a story about what a great gardener I am. This year for the first time ever I decided to grow petunias. Just for a change of pace from the portulacas, pansies, and other assorted varieties of years past. I resolved that my petunias would be nice and neat, and produce lots and lots of flowers. I fertilized them, I watered them, I deadheaded them, I pampered them and no flowers. Oh, there were a couple but after all that TLC there should have been tons. After couple of weeks of that I thought if there are no flowers where are all the deadheads coming from? You guessed it! The buds look kinda wilted, so I dutifully removed them. Every single day! Sometimes you can't win for losin'.

They're sure making up for lost time, though.